Thursday, April 15, 2010

Beef, It’s What’s For Dinner

Gluttony.  It’s one of the Seven Deadly Sins.  It was deadly even before people knew about high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and clogged arteries.  It is probably the one sin that, in the past, I most guilty of.  I have been known, on occasion, to eat large amounts of food in one sitting (or standing, depending on the event). 

I eat fast and had an extremely fast metabolism (had – it is catching up with me now).  By eating fast, I trick my stomach into believing it is not full before the rest of the food hits it.  Having a fast metabolism has kept me hovering around 180 pounds since I was a junior in high school.  I realized at an early age that I could consume a lot in a short period of time.  It first started when I was 9 or 10 when we went to New Jersey to see my grandfather.  We were at some beef and beer type event.  They were serving hot dogs for the kids.  I ended up eating 11 hot dogs in about two hours.

From there I graduated to bigger things, like the “Big Irish" burger at Bennigans (I don’t think it is on the menu anymore), the “Pounder” at Cheeburger Cheeburger.  I thought the 5 Regular Roast Beefs for $5 was Arby’s version of an extra value meal. Things got… worse after that.

We had instituted “Fat Kid Friday” when we worked in the office to release our eating inhibitions and reward ourselves for slaving all week long.  We would all gather in our private conference room, throw a movie on the projector and have a leisurely lunch.  For the true “Fat Kids”, we would order pizza by the pie (one per person), 18” inch cheese steaks, Jake’s triple cheeseburgers.  It was never a contest, it was just releasing your pent up frustrations on a large amount of food.

We had to move to having “Wide Load Wednesdays” when we began working from home four days a week and only coming in on Wednesdays.  Same concept, different day of the week.  We stopped celebrating our gluttonous habits after we began working from home full time and the “Fat Kids” resumed eating like normal humans seven days a week.

Tonight was an exception.  Tonight a few of my buddies from work met for dinner.  We met at a restaurant featuring an interesting dinner special on Thursday nights, a 40 ounce steak for only $17.  Forty ounces of beef, gristle, fat and bone.  Forty ounces of gluttony on a plate.  I was up for a challenge.  I had never attempted this much food in one sitting before, but I figured I would give it a try.  I was ravenous waiting for the food to arrive.  I kept telling myself, when you see the steak, remember to take a picture, a picture.

I forgot.

By the time I did remember, there was little left to photograph except for a nearly empty plate and a bone.  I polished off a forty ounce porterhouse, a plate of fries and a bowl of applesauce in a matter of minutes.  The saddest thing was, I didn’t feel full at all and could have probably eaten more.

For your revulsion….

From Random

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