Unearned Suffering

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said that “unearned suffering is redemptive.”  Pain and suffering can take many forms and be caused by any number of  sources.  Sometimes others inflict pain on us, sometimes we do it to ourselves.  A good example is when I happen upon a movie that plain sucks, the plot, the acting, the story, the special effects, etc., you name it, it blows, but once I start watching it, I continue to the end in the hope that it will magically get better by the end.  This happened Saturday.  I noticed that Surrogates was now in the my Instant queue on Netflix.  The kids are away and I could actually watch something that I wanted to watch.  I am sucker for science fiction, so I thought this would be a good choice.  I have been a Bruce Willis fan ever since his days on Moonlighting (FYI- my all time favorite episode was the Taming of the Shrew one), so this was another plus.

About fifteen minutes into the movie, I began to see the error of my decision.  The premise of the movie was awful and really farfetched, the dialog was lame and the editing was atrocious.  But I am a closet optimist (don’t tell anyone) and I stuck with it.  And when it started to get worse, I just couldn’t bring myself to turn it off.  There are 72 other movies in my instant queue that I could watch, but for some OCD-driven reason, I suffered through it.  I even stayed up until 2:30 AM to finish it.

I think in all of my 36 years, I have only turned off five or six movies because they were bad.  Let me rephrase that, when I am taking about watching a movie, I mean that I choose to sit down and watch a movie from the beginning.  There are several movies or shows that may be on TV that I catch parts of but never finish, but only five or six that I have sat down with the intention of watching beginning to end that I have stopped watching.  I am the same way with books.  There are only two books that I have put down mid-way through and never finished.  I just can’t do it, I get a sick feeling in my head, like I am quitting or something.

Unlike the mental pain of watching a bad movie, there is also physical pain.  While weed-eating the other morning, I actually hit my leg with the weed-eater (don’t ask how, because I am still trying to figure out how I could do something so stupid) and left a two inch gash in my shin.  I scared some young woman walking her dog when the string hit my leg and I yelled “Dirty Whore!”  I looked up from my bleeding shin to see her wide-eyed stare and gasping mouth as she hurried her dog away.  Then later that night, I was playing with my daughter.  One of her new favorite games is to pull the hair on my head and act like she is making a pile of the pulled hairs on the floor.  While this is painful in a dull, throbbing way, it was not nearly as painful as when she was grabbing my nose and accidently shoved her thumb into my left nostril and pinched.  She didn’t let go as she pulled her hand away from my face.  Her razor-sharp baby finger nails lacerated the inside of my nose and left my already allergy-beaten nose in a bloody mess.  She smiled and went on with her business as I hurried to the bathroom to stop the flow.

And then there is that deep, soul-wrenching suffering.  That anguish that is so persistent that no matter what you do or where you are, it is always present like a tooth-ache in your mind.  Something so insidious that you often lose your concentration, become irritable and snap at those you love.  This suffering can only be caused by one thing, something so innocent yet so vile, when you get a stupid goddamned song stuck in your head and you can’t get rid of it.

You see, it all started with this:

My wife and I have a habit of being silly, sometimes downright dorky at times.  A few months ago when we harvested our first crop of lettuce from the garden, we started eating a lot more salads.  And a salad is not complete without good croutons.  After working our way through several brands, we found Mrs. Cubbison’s Seasoned Restaurant Style Croutons.  Here’s where the silly (and covertly evil) part comes in.  My loving wife, while preparing salads for the family for dinner, came up with a catchy little ditty.  It goes something like this, “And here’s to you, Mrs. Cubbison, people love your croutons more than you can know. (wo wo wo)  God bless you please, Mrs. Cubbison, restaurant style on salads they will stay (hey hey hey)…” (sung to the tune of “Mrs. Robinson” by Simon and Garfunkel).  There are other lines and various versions of the chorus, but you get the point. 

Now any time that box comes out of the cupboard, I am singing that friggin’ song.  My wife sings it, the kids sing it, I am singing it right friggin’ now.  I catch myself humming it at my desk, in the car, in the shower.  You just want to grab a big spoon and belt it out like you are on stage.  It becomes the punctuation to every sentence, to every thought.  “Oh, it’s Shark Week, and here’s to you Mrs. Cubbison…”  “Well that was a short meeting, People love your croutons more than you can know…”  It’s like an itch that you can’t scratch, like getting a wedgie while standing in front of a lot of people, you know you can’t dig it out, you just have to keep grinning and bearing it.  Like getting a pebble in the toe of your shoe or that bug that gets in the car and flies around your head while you are driving.  When I see homeless people on the street, talking to themselves and swatting at invisible objects, I know that in their minds they are singing some stupid song that happened to get stuck there many years ago that they couldn’t get rid of.

So now you know of my pain.  And it ain’t the least bit redemptive.

Cooler But Still Complaining

The thermometer on my desk reads 76.6° and 30% humidity.  There is an eerie silence about the house.  There are no running fans or portable air conditioners.  There are no shocking temperature changes when you walk from room to room.  The fifteen days of living in Satan’s ass crack are over.  Yesterday the new A/C and furnace were installed.  It took the guys almost nine hours to get the job done but when they were finished it was bliss.  The new system is silent, inside and out, but you can feel the effects throughout the house. 

I have said before that my world is in complete balance, I cannot have the good without the bad.  While karma was tallying up all of the benefit from the new heating and cooling system, it decided to give me a wonderful sinus and ear infection.  How else would I start my first real vacation since Christmas?  So along with a bathing suit and beach chairs, I am packing a box of tissues and antibiotics for our trip to the beach.  I moped around the house today, packing up all of the portable A/C units and getting stuff together for our trip to the beach, stopping every few minutes to sneeze ten times and blow my nose another ten times.  I am considering going the Lord Valdemort route and having my entire nose and sinuses removed.  I really don’t need or want them anymore.

Yesterday, I really didn’t have much to do except sit around, blow my nose several hundred times, and wait for the guys to finish working around the house, so I caught up on some TV viewing.  I have been reading about the new SyFy series, Haven, for a few weeks now, but I haven’t watched any of the episodes.  Yesterday, I got a chance to see both episodes.  The series is based on Stephen King’s story, The Colorado Kid, and takes place in, where else, a small town in Maine named Haven.  Haven looks like the typical New England coastal town with pine trees and lobsters, but there are some weird things that are happening.  I won’t go into detail or divulge any spoilers, but overall the two shows that I have seen have been enough for me to want to see more.  The acting is pretty good, with the dialog being more on the humorous side.  The special effects are cheesy, but I can deal with that. 

I also got to catch up on some movies that have been sitting around since the A/C broke.  My wife and I watched Shutter Island the other night.  It was very good.  I had not had a chance to read the book yet so the story was very surprising.  I am finishing Inglourious Basterds tonight, so far it has been amazing.

I don’t know if I will write anything while at the beach, I think I want to be computer-free for a few days.  Talk to you when I return.

Is It Safe To Go Back Into The Water?

Today marks one week since our central air shit the bed.  Or as I like to think of it, “Day 7 in Satan’s Butt Crack” with only eight more to go.  We had some rain this afternoon which help cool it down a bit, but only for a few hours.  I have the boys home with me this week, so they have the TV constantly running heating up the basement.  They will play nicely together for a few hours and I won’t even know they are there.  And then they start to bicker and then fight and then I have to lock them in separate closets.  They started to mellow out around 4 PM, and wanted to watch a movie, my 6 YO picked out Jaws.  I vetoed that choice until I could have a chance to sit down and watch it with them.

It was an odd choice of movie for them, especially from the 6 YO.  They know that it is my favorite movie, but they have never seen it.  It was interesting coincidence because July 20th marks the 35th anniversary of the movie’s release.  There are so many great things about Jaws, the dialog, the perfect soundtrack, cinematography, and I think it would only be fitting to celebrate its 35th birthday by introducing it to my kids.  So tonight we sat down and began watching it together.  I had to constantly remind them that it was make-believe and that real sharks are not like this.  I had to tell a few (great) white lies and tell them that there are no sharks where we will be going next week.

We only made it up to the part where Chief Brody and Hooper go out and find the abandoned boat before it was time for them to head up to bed.  They haven’t even gotten to see the shark yet.  They didn’t seem scared at all.  It will be interesting if they want to continue watching it after they see the shark for the first time.  I doubt that will happen.  Kids today seem so jaded to violence.

I was doing a little light reading after everyone was asleep and I saw an blog post about the release of “The Shark is Still Working,” a documentary on the making and impact of Jaws.  I have been waiting for this to come out for several years and it is finally here.  So far there is no news of when it will be shown around here or if it will go straight to video after all of the planned screenings.  Either way, I want to see this.

I will let you know how the rest of the movie turns out for the kids when we finish it.

Lost: The End

By now, I am sure all of the diehard Lost fans have read at least some of the myriad of theories and possible meanings of the last episode of Lost.  I have read quite a few myself (if you want a really good one, try this one posted on Dark UFO).  I have to admit that I was a bit confused by the final 15 minutes of last Sunday’s ending.  Let me rephrase that, I was fine and everything was peachy keen until three seconds after Jack closed his eye for the final time and my wife said, “See!  They were all dead the entire time and the Island really was Purgatory!”

“Huh what? No, that can’t be, it’s, uh…”  At that moment, six years of facts and figures and theories came rushing into my head.  She went to bed, mad at how it ended and I stayed up for the next few hours working (of course) and in the back of my mind, I recreated scenario after scenario of what I thought had happened.  By morning, I had a clear idea of my “truth” about what Lost really was.  And I also had a few “theories” on why people misunderstood what happened.  I read a bunch of critiques of the last episode and I saw that many agreed, but there were also quite a few that disagreed.

Before I go any further, let me start out by stating what I believe (and what my wife now believes):

Everything that happened in the six seasons of Lost (outside of the sideways/alt-universe of season 6) really happened to the characters.  They crashed on the Island, they fought with the Others, they time traveled, some were killed on the island, etc.  The LA-verse was some sort of afterlife meeting ground where they existed in a pseudo-existence before passing over to their final afterlife.  You could call it purgatory before getting to heaven.  It was Jack’s story of redemption, of finding faith and love and fulfilling his destiny.

With that out of the way, let me try to address all of the criticisms out there about unanswered questions.  Did anyone really expected to get all of the questions answered and delivered with a nice little bow on top?  The purpose of the series was not a science lesson, it was not a spiritual discourse on how to attain enlightenment.  It was a piece of art put together by many people over a long period of time.  It’s purpose was to entertain and move people.  Like any good pieces of art, whether it is music, painting, television or movies, it should cause its audience to think and to feel and to react and, ultimately, tell a story, and I think it accomplished that extremely well.

I also think that the people that really “get it” and like what happened over the past six years and enjoyed the ending (i.e. people that agree with me) are the people that have had experience with this genre before and can also accept that sometimes you just don’t get all of the answers.  I can name countless books and movies, many of which are labeled as classics, that did the same thing.  They told a story and left many unanswered questions at the end.  Is it wrong to do that?  No.  The authors and directors of these books and movies typically “know” or at least have a very good idea what the answers are, but they cannot fit them all into the story.  You would end up reading an encyclopedia instead of being entertained.  They told their story, as much of it as they could in the time allotted.  The reader/viewer/listener has to use their imagination sometimes.  Being spoon fed the answer to life, the universe and everything is usually not an option.  It’s part of the mystery of good art. 

Watch Arthur C. Clarke’s 2001 and 2010, do you get all of the answers?  No.  Were you entertained?  Read Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series, did he tie up every single loose end?  No.  Was it still an amazing piece of work?  Yes.  What about Pulp Fiction, did you ever get to see what was inside the briefcase?  What about Blade Runner and Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, is Deckard really a replicant?

Even when someone attempts to go back and fill in the blanks, the result is usually never good, the viewers are never satisfied and the resulting attempts fail to entertain or enlighten.  I can name a bunch of these too.  Alien 3 and Alien: Resurrection, both failed at building on the Alien story.  Even the mighty Star Wars saga failed when Lucas tried to fill in blanks with the prequel trilogy. (NOTE: I actually liked the prequel trilogy, but I must admit that it was not as good as the originals)  Try reading the Dune books written by Frank Herbert’s son, Brian.  The original six books by Frank were amazing, award winning works, but when they tried to revisit the story and fill in the blanks, the result was, um, very difficult to enjoy.

If you want all of the answers, read any of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes stories or something by Tom Clancy.  Certainly don’t cross over into science fiction and fantasy, because your need for all of the facts ain’t gonna be filled.  When you tell a story of another world or something that doesn’t quite fit with reality, you sometimes have to leave some of the facts open to interpretation.

But if you really want some answers, here is my attempt.  There was a really good article written on IO9 about the 50 Questions Lost Really Needs To Answer.  They followed it up with a report card of the results, which I think failed because it didn’t extrapolate what we know, it was based purely on seeing or hearing a solid answer.  I wanted to take a stab at answering them with what I think happened. 

 IO9‘s 50 Questions

1. So the island is the place with the glowy light that's inside all of us. Does this mean the Island's alive? People talk about what the island "wants." What do they mean? Is the island Eywa? – The Island represents some spiritual power, probably related to some deity-like being.  It keeps the balance of good and evil in the world.  Having just seen Avatar the other day, I would agree it is sort of like Eywa.  You could also call it The Force (for the Star Wars fans) or Ka (if you have a read a Stephen King book in the last 10 years).
2. How come the island heals people? Why does it heal them selectively? – If you do what the island wants, it rewards you.  If you have something that island wants, it protects you.  If the island doesn’t want you there, it doesn’t let you come.
3. Who was the woman who raised Jacob and the Man In Black, and how did she get there? – She was another protector of the island, she was probably not the first and definitely wasn’t the last.  She got there the same way everyone else gets there.
4. If Jacob was a Roman, why is he so into Egyptian gods? – I don’t think the Island follows any specific mythology or religion.  Since the majority of religions stem from the same ideals, the spiritual practices on the Island are just another example of an amalgamation of peoples’ beliefs and their search for answers to life’s mysteries.  Many religions and mythologies deify natural phenomena, like Thor being the God of Thunder, so the island’s inhabitants selected a god from their beliefs to represent what was going on.  And whatever the beliefs and heritage of the inhabitants of the island had, they built and used symbols that they were accustomed to represent that.  So somewhere along the line, there were probably Egyptian inhabitants there, along with Romans, and eventually Christians, Muslims, Hindis and Buddhists.  Every inhabitant of the island related to it in terms that they understood, so a Christian experiencing the island related it to stories that they heard from their religion (i.e. like my theories on Lucifer, Job, etc.) while an Egyptian would use something like Taweret.  I think the protectors of the island, like Jacob, knew its true nature and realized that it didn’t need a name, but went along with what everyone else wanted to call it.
5. What was with those Egyptian symbols that appeared in the Hatch when the countdown went past 108 minutes? That didn't seem like the Dharma Initiative's style. – See #4.  That probably stemmed from something that MIB created to try to harness the island’s power and was never “translated” out of what he or a previous resident did.  Newer inhabitants of the island took up where the previous or older residents of the island left off.  This is similar to using Greek symbols to represent scientific and mathematic concepts.  Why do we do that?  Because that’s what the guys who created them used and we just carry on the tradition.  We could always use different symbols but then our common language would fall apart and we wouldn’t be able to communicate effectively.
6. Jacob told Alpert some previous visitors to the island had built that Taweret statue. Did he tell them to build it? Why Taweret? – see #4 and #5 above
7. Is Jacob bringing people to the island, as the Man In Black suggests? If so, then who was bringing all those people to the island before Jacob did it? Why does Jacob want to bring so many people to the island? What was he trying to prove to the Man In Black? – I think that one has been pretty sufficiently answered by the show itself and doesn’t need anymore.
8. Why did Widmore bring Desmond to the island? What's the sacrifice Desmond has to make? – Again, answered by the show.
9. Why was Charlie fated to die, exactly? What did Charlie's death accomplish, in the end? – I haven’t really given much thought to this one, so I am not sure how to answer it. 
10. Was that the Smoke Monster telling Ben and Locke to move the island, back in season four? If so, why did Smokey want the island moved? What did moving the island accomplish exactly? – This was probably an attempt to destroy the island or set in motion the MIB’s plan to get off the island.
11. Why was Libby in the same mental hospital as Hurley? What's her deal exactly? Why was she in Australia? – Beats me, maybe she went through a tough patch in her life and had a mental breakdown.  Isn’t that what happened to most people on the show in one way or another.
12. Why did the Smoke Monster kill Mr. Eko? Why did the Smoke Monster leave Rousseau alive after killing or "claiming" the rest of her expedition? – Mr. Eko probably was getting too close to the truth of what the island really was or to what MIB was trying to and the MIB knew it.  It looks to me like MIB eventually claimed Rousseau anyway, or at least he got her to do what he wanted
13. Who made the Rules? Like, what's preventing Smokey from killing the Candidates directly? – The island :)
14. What was so special about Walt? No, really. They made a big deal out of it and everything. – Walt was probably more open to the power that the island emitted, similar to Desmond’s resistance to it.  Hurley and Miles also had some weird abilities, i.e. talking to the dead.  Maybe Walt was of a similar vein, but because he was young, he was more powerful. 
15. Jacob was immortal, right? So what made him decide he needed to start doing such a huge head-hunting search for his replacement? – I don’t think Jacob was immortal, but rather he wouldn’t die of old age or at the hands of the MIB.  He probably had a few other abilities that helped keep him alive too.  He was eventually killed by Ben, so that rules out the immortality thing.
16. Why is Aaron so important? Why wasn't Kate supposed to raise him? – Aaron may have been important because he was a child that was destined to be born on the island.  The island may have only allowed “special” children be born, such as Aaron, Jacob and MIB.  It could also be that the MIB could possibly take control of newborns in the same fashion he could take over the dead.  Kate was needed as a candidate and therefore shouldn’t raise Aaron.  Jacob said that he had to remove her from the list because she became a “mother”.
17. Why isn't Kate a candidate? – see #16
18. What was the Dharma Initiative really up to on the Island? What was their ultimate goal? Why did the Hanso Foundation regard the Dharma Initiative as a failure? – The Dharma Initiative was there for the same reason as everyone else, to harness the power of the island, and also serve as sort of a protector.  Some of them were eventually corrupted by the MIB.
19. It seems like everyone who was a passenger on Oceanic 815 has numerous connections that they don't even know about. Like Jack and Claire being half-siblings, and Sawyer's ex-girlfriend helping Kate confront her mom. What caused this excessive degree of synchronicity? – This is probably the work of Jacob and/or the island in drawing the candidates to the island.
20. What really happens if the Smoke Monster leaves the island? – The end of days
21. In the "flash-sideways" universe, the island is under water. When exactly did this happen? – I think this is a metaphor for what life would have been like if the island had never existed in the Oceanic passengers’ timeline.
22. How/when did Roger Linus and Pierre Chang get off the island before it sank? – a boat, or maybe a plane, does it matter?
23. Why did Ben and Widmore hate each other quite so much? Why couldn't Ben just shoot Widmore in the face that one time when Ben came into Widmore's bedroom? – They both wanted to be top dog on the island, having two power hungry leaders will always lead to contention.  Ben didn’t shoot Widmore because he wanted Widmore to experience the pain of losing his daughter, just like Ben did.
24. Why did Widmore order Keamy's gang to kill everyone on the island except for Ben? Especially since Widmore is so keen for Locke to lead the Oceanic Six back to the island a few years later. And why exactly is Widmore so keen for the Oceanic Six to come back to the island? Because they're Candidates? Or some other reason? If he is keen for there to be Candidates on the island, why did he order Keamy to kill them all? – Widmore admitted he was wrong for having done that and that Jacob came to him and showed him the error of his ways. 
25. After Richard Alpert met Jacob and Jacob explained the island to him, why didn't Richard repeat that explanation to everyone he met? – He didn’t explain it because most people would not have understood it.  He had to get the people to do what was needed by putting things in ideas that they could understand.  Walking around telling everyone that the island was some sort of spiritual power source that kept the world in balance and prevented evil from taking it over probably would have landed his ass in a Looney bin and we could have watched him not age in a padded cell.
26. How did Richard and the Others decide whom to recruit from among the various people who came to the island after that? What was the deal with all those lists? The lists weren't lists of Candidates, since the Others didn't try to recruit Sawyer or Jack. So what were they? – Jacob must have provided Richard with the lists or Richard might have come up with them on his own.  The lists contained people that had to be removed from the island and also people that were needed to influence the real candidates. 
27. Why did the Incident in 1977 leave the island's women unable to give birth? What's with the huge importance placed on fertility on the island, what with the Tawaret statue? Why are so many women separated from their babies? – See #16
28. So why was Widmore unable to return to the island? And then why was he able to return to the island after all? Also, why did turning the donkey wheel mean that Ben was unable to return to the island, except with the Oceanic Six? – The Island only brought people there that it wanted.  It didn’t bring Widmore back until he could bring Desmond with him.  It didn’t bring Ben back until he brought the candidates with him.
29. What was the deal with that brand on Juliet's lower back? The cross/asterisk thing? – tramp stamp?
30. Where did that supply drop come from? You know, the huge pallet of food and stuff? – the Others, Richard’s people that lived off the island.  Widmore’s people maybe.
31. Who built that weird Dharma Initiative door that leads to a stone wall? Did the Others put it there as part of their fake village? – no idea, but does it really matter?
32. Was Rousseau "claimed" by the Smoke Monster the same way Claire and Sayid were? – I would say “yes” and “no”, see #12
33. What was the Sickness that the Dharma Initiative was vaccinating people against? Is it similar to the Smoke Monster "claiming" people, or something else? – One way to control a group people is to unite them against a common foe.  It may have been the idea of Richard or someone that propagated the idea that there was a sickness on the island that made them go insane, instead of revealing that it was a mystical smoke monster attempting to control their minds.  It probably worked to keep the island’s inhabitants from getting to the real truth of the island.
34. When the Smoke Monster told Sayid that he could have Nadia back from the dead, was he referring to the "flash sideways" universe, or something else? Or just lying? – I think the Smoke Monster told a lot of lies, he even admitted it to Ben at the end.  He could have been telling the truth, but only part of it.  Maybe by destroying the island, the MIB would have released all of the souls in hell/purgatory and Sayid would have been reunited with her in a sort of hell on earth scenario.  Or maybe he planned on Sayid dying, since he was a candidate.
35. What was the deal with Pierre Chang having so many wacky pseudonyms? – Really, who cares?
36. What were the Others having Kate and Sawyer build? Was it really going to be a runway? For what? – Probably for the Ajira flight.
37. So if the hydrogen bomb going off caused the "flash sideways" universe and prevented Oceanic 815 from crashing, how did it change Hurley's lottery numbers, or make Sawyer a cop instead of a con-man? – I don’t think the bomb did any of that.  I think the bomb brought everyone into the same timeline or current day.  The LA-verse was timeless and was always there, we just never got to see it before.
38. Is Ji Yeon the "Kwon" who's a candidate? – No.  But she might be now that her parents were killed and she is alone.
39. Who's the mother of Jack's son David in the "flash-sideways" universe? On a related note, where's alt-Juliet? – Answered.
40. What happened to the body of Christian Shephard on the "flash-sideways" Flight 815? – Answered.
41. Come to think of it, what happened to Christian's body on the island? – Eaten by polar bears, consumed by the MIB, or something similar.
42. Sayid was "claimed" by the Smoke Monster, but he still had free will afterward. What did that being "claimed" thing mean anyway? – Claimed meant under the influence of MIB, but not in total control by MIB.  They were promised something by the MIB and sworn their allegiance to him.  It was probably a lot like Jacob’s marking someone as a candidate.  The candidates obviously got some sort of protection since the MIB could not kill them directly. 
43. What does god need with a starship? I mean, why does Locke need an airplane to leave the island? – I think he needed the ability to free himself from the island, regardless of what the form of transportation was.  MIB was sustained by the power of the island, he could not leave it unless the island was destroyed and that power unleashed.  Jacob on the other hand was still a living being and could come and go as he chose.  He could probably use the power of the island himself to travel in time, teleport off the island and return the same way.
44. Why are the Numbers so important? I get that each of the Numbers corresponds to one of the remaining Candidates as of a while ago. But that's just another instance of the Numbers popping up in relation to something. Why these numbers? Why were they powerful long before Jack, Hurley, et al. came to the island? – This was probably one of the many ways of attracting people and candidates to the island. 
45. And come to think of it, what was the point of having someone broadcasting the numbers over the radio over and over again for years? – see #44
46. If Jacob is dead, and his ghost is wandering around talking to Hurley, what's with the little kid version of Jacob? Why can only certain people, like Sawyer, see the little-kid Jacob? – They can see him when he wants to be seen.  His spirit lingered on until his body was completely destroyed.
47. Who was Juliet inviting to coffee? What sort of coffee? Can I come? Will there be biscotti, or madeleines? – Sawyer.  Juliet was dying and was seeing into her afterlife. 
48. Why can't the Smoke Monster cross a line of ash? What about the sonic fence? – The ash probably represented a magic circle similar to what is used to contain demons in many occult rituals.  The sonic fence disrupted the smoke particles or something similar.
49. So the Man In Black can't leave the island. But Jacob was wandering off the island all the time, buying Louis Vuitton luggage, touching the Oceanic Six and various other people, and stocking up on Flannery O'Connor books. At one point, Jacob opened a dance studio in Newark. What gives? – See #43
50. When Ben took Locke to Jacob's Cabin, there was a weird telekinetic storm and Locke heard a voice saying "Help me." Was that Jacob? Or the M.I.B.? What sort of help did the voice have in mind? More importantly, what's with the dog painting in Jacob's Cabin??? – This was the MIB, he was locked in the cabin by the circle of ash.  He couldn’t appear in a physical body because he didn’t have one to inhabit at the time.

So that’s it.  My final Lost post.  I might write something else when the DVDs come out in August.  I here there will be an additional 15-20 minutes of epilogue.  I doubt there will be another show like this for a while.  I am sure I will find something else to occupy my time, right now it is watching the complete Battlestar Galactica series.  Well, it will be when Netflix decides to start sending me the DVDs again.  I’m sorry this post was so long, but the word count is divisible by 18, which is always a good thing.

Damn the Consequences

Has it really been nine days?  Did y’all miss me?  I really should be working tonight, I still have a ton of stuff to do, but I don’t feel like it, so to all of my various “Bosses” and you know who you are, I am taking the night off.  The last few weeks have been rough and the nights that I am not working (which are not many), I have chosen not to be in front of a computer at all.  I have even gotten to the point where I won’t even turn on the Xbox.  Instead, in the time when my wife and children are asleep and I am not working, I have opted to catch up on some reading and movies. 

I am almost done with Black House by Stephen King and Peter Straub.  When I am done with this book, I don’t have any ideas on what I want to read next.  I am certainly open to any suggestions, my bookshelves are void of books that I haven’t read.  I have a $200 gift card burning a hole in my wallet and I am really considering purchasing the bound editions of Stephen King’s The Dark Tower Graphic novels. 

I have strayed a little from my reading plan in the last eight months.  My plan for the past seven or eight years has been to alternate between reading recent publications and classics.  The reason I do this is so that I can catch up on the hundreds of classics that I have not yet read that I have always wanted to, but at the same time, try to keep current with new releases.  The last few books I have read have all been recent publications and now I feel like I have to spend the next few months reading some classics achieve that balance again.

As for movies, I have seen some pretty good ones lately, good but disturbing.  I recently watched The Machinist starring Christian Bale.  This is a story about a man that has not slept in a year and his entire life deteriorates into paranoia and hallucinations.  Christian Bale has proven himself several times playing men that have gone over the edge (American Psycho, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight), even his first big role as James Graham in The Empire of the Sun was about a boy pushed to the extreme while trying to survive Japanese occupation in World War II. 

I have always been a sucker for movies and books that document someone’s decent into madness and The Machinist did not disappoint.  I think I like them so much because I mentally note all of the tell-tale signs so that I can recognize them as they happen to me.  Insomnia – check, talking to myself – check, copy of Catcher in the Rye - check, extreme weight loss – damn it, got to get a little crazier for that one. 

Netflix finally fixed the streaming version of Dolan’s Cadillac so that the sound actually played with the video and I was able to watch that one night.  This was a pretty good portrayal of the Stephen King short story of the same name.  It starred Christian Slater as a crime boss that dealt in human trafficking and Wes Bentley, who I haven’t seen since his role as the crazy videographer kid in American Beauty.  The movie fell way short of accurately depicting the illegal sex trafficking underworld.  I don’t have experience or first hand knowledge of this, but after having seen Trade with Kevin Kline, Dolan’s Cadillac almost makes this subject seem like a laughable experience.  (Note: Trade is an excellent movie, but it is gruesome and disturbing and I would not recommend it unless you are prepared for the subject matter.  This isn’t a movie you walk away feeling good about.)

My wife and I got a chance to watch The Lovely Bones together a few weekends ago.  We both enjoyed it, but I think the spirit world/heaven scenes detracted from the story.  I felt like they went to a lot of expense to draw this afterlife world, but they really didn’t accomplish anything with it.  This a story about the murder of a teenage girl, butterflies and rainbows and flowers are not what I was expecting.

On the flip side, the kids and I watched Where the Wild Things Are.  I loved this book since I was in first grade, I vividly remember sitting Indian style (yes, it is Indian style, not criss-cross applesauce or cross legged or tailor fashion) in the library (they were libraries back then, not '”media centers”) of Lincoln Elementary School and watching the librarian read us the story in almost a whisper as she flipped through the pages.  That story and those images made a big impression on me and looking back on it 28 years later, I realize now how much I could relate to Max and his overactive imagination. 

When the movie started, I was expecting the warm and slightly scary story of my childhood, and didn’t expect it to be as dark and depressing as it was.  I almost turned it off, thinking that it was a little too intense for the boys.  But they seemed to enjoy it and I asked them several times throughout the movie if they were scared by it.  They, of course, said no.  But now that they have watched it, and have those towering, carnivorous monsters in the backs of their minds, I have a little more leverage when they are behaving poorly.  I can always tell them I know where the wild things are and I can send them there.  They might declare themselves king, but they might get eaten too.

Everything is Going 19

It seems like a coincidence that yesterday I wrote about what a Stephen King fanboy I am and today all the internets are a-buzz with news about the movie rights to King’s Dark Tower series.  All of my favorite geek blogs are talking about it, so I feel that I must have my say too.  If you are not versed on the story to date, let me fill you in.

“First comes smiles, then lies.  Last is gunfire.” Roland Deschain of Gilead

First, let’s talk about the books themselves.  The Dark Tower series is King’s magnum opus.  The series itself comprises seven books and was published over a 22 year period.  The story contained within those seven books actually has direct and indirect connections to as many as 15 other King novels and short stories, like Salem’s Lot, The Stand, It, etc.  There was even a graphic novel series published by Marvel that contained parts of the story that never made it to the original novels.  The story follows the Gunslinger, Roland, on his quest to find the Dark Tower and spans many worlds and universes, some very similar to our own and some extremely different and arcane.  The story also has King himself as a character.  It is truly an epic tale and King’s best work.  It is inconceivable to think that this series could be condensed into one movie, but would almost have to be delivered in Harry Potter fashion with a movie relating to each book.

So who would take on a task like that?  J. J. Abrams, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse (all of Lost fame) paid $19 dollars for the film rights to the series a few years ago.  That was like Christmas day for me, a Stephen King fan and a Dark Tower fan and a Lost fan.  I thought at the time, if anyone could give these books the treatment they deserve, it would be these three guys.

A few months ago, J. J. Abrams and crew announced that they would not be pursuing the project considering everything else that they have going on, i.e. Star Trek, Lost, etc.  At the time, I was a little heartbroken to hear that, but I hoped that someday they would take up the reins again and start making the movies.  Since most fans of the series, like me, waited 22 years for the series to come to a conclusion, what is waiting another couple years to see the movies?  How long did it take to get the Lord of the Rings trilogy done right?

Yesterday it was announced on Deadline.com that there was now new players to the Dark Tower game, Ron Howard and Akiva Goldsmith.  The Good and The Ugly.  The article from Deadline.com reports that Ron Howard, The Good, would direct the work and Akiva Goldsmith, The Ugly, would write it.  Ron Howard has done some amazing movies, A Beautiful Mind, Apollo 13, Parenthood, to name a few.  I think he could definitely bring something to the table.  Especially if he brings his “A” game like he did for Apollo 13 and A Beautiful Mind. 

Akiva Goldsmith, one the other hand, has ruined the screen adaptations of several good books and stories to the point where I wouldn’t mind giving him a swift kick in the head for what he has done.  Let me start with I, Robot, the movie.  The original collection of short stories titled I, Robot was written by Isaac Asimov.  If I am considered a huge fan of Stephen King, then I would be considered a raving lunatic for Asimov.  What Goldsmith did to the screenplay for I, Robot was unforgivable.  He completely pissed on the Three Laws of Robotics and the whole point of Asimov’s science fiction work.  I think when the movie came out, many geek clerics declared a Salman Rushdie-esque Jihad on him for disgracing the name of Asimov.

If that wasn’t bad enough, he did it again with the Richard Matheson classic, I Am Legend.  I have to admit at this point that the movie as a movie was good, but the portrayal of the zombie-vampires and the ending was all wrong and that he, again, missed the point of the story.  When I learned afterwards that Goldsmith also penned this beauty, I wanted to band together with my nerd brethren and open up a can of whoop ass on him.  He was also responsible for Batman and Robin, Batman Forever and Lost In Space.  His only redeeming film to date has been A Time To Kill.

Now to the treatment.  According the Deadline.com story, the proposal is to make a movie trilogy and TV series out of the books.  Ok, I can understand the movies, but a TV series?  This is not network TV material if done right.  King’s works have never really ported well to television.  The dialog alone would force it onto the premium channels like HBO and Showtime, not to mention the sex, notably the two scenes where Roland and Susannah have sex with demons, and violence, because Mister, they deal in lead.  None of the sources say which order they will be done in either, whether it will be three movies followed by a TV series, or a TV series interjected with movies at the crucial points.

I honestly don’t care how it gets to the screen, but I do care that it is done the right way.  If it is anything less than Peter Jackson’s treatment of The Lord of the Rings, I am calling up my nerd posse and we will ride.  The man in the director’s chair (and writer’s chair) will flee across the desert and the angry nerds will follow.

If you don’t want my opinion on it, please read some of these articles:

• IO9 – Ron Howard is Gearing Up to Scale Stephen King’s Dark Tower
• Cinematical – Ron Howard Plans Epic Quest to Stephen King’s Dark Tower
• Lilja’s Library – Dark Tower as a Screen Trilogy and TV Series?

Note: The word count for this post is evenly divisible by 19, it took every ounce of my willpower to do it.

Long Overdue

It has been almost a week since I last posted an update and I apologize.  I have been busy with work and home life and at the end of the day, when I sit down to write, I am either too tired or have something else that needs my attention.  This week all of my nights have been spent finishing up work projects, solving production support issues and spending time with the kids. 

This weekend was no different.  There was a birthday party on Friday night that kept me occupied until 9:30.  When I got home, all I wanted to do was stop my eardrums from bleeding and relax and not look at a computer.  I ended up watching Manchurian Candidate with Liev Schreiber and Denzel Washington.  It was a good remake of the original and put a modern twist on the original novel.  I have to admit that I am not a fan of Liev Schreiber, his eyes always make me think he is about to cry.  I also got to see The Men Who Stare at Goats.  It was humorous, but I really didn’t think too much of it. 

I spent about 30 minutes tonight re-ordering my Netflix DVD queue so that the Battlestar Galactica series comes next.  I have been putting it off long enough.  I can’t wait any longer.  I know, I know, how can I call myself a nerd and not have seen Battlestar Galactica?  I was not able to see it when it first came out and I vowed that I would not start watching it in the middle.  It wasn’t so much of a vow, it was more like an OCD thing that I could rationalize into a vow.

I scored a minor victory in getting the kids to watch Serenity with me, or making them believe that they wanted to watch it.  I tried getting them to watch it a year or two ago, but they weren’t interested.  I hope to leverage this into getting to watch Battlestar  on movie nights for the next several months.  The only downside is trying to get the kids to not walk around using the word “frack.”

We worked our butts off on Saturday.  The 5 YO and I went out to get the finishing touches for the veggie garden as soon as I was done the yard work.  He helped pick out all of the plants, loaded them on the cart and kept a mental count of everything we had.  We ended up with:

• (3) Bradley Tomatoes
• (1) German Queen Tomato
• (2) Roma Tomatoes
• (1) Husky Cherry Tomato
• (1) Pink Queen Tomato
• (3) Red Bell Peppers
• (3) Green Bell Peppers
• (1) Anaheim Pepper
• (1) Sweet Chili
• (6) Banana Peppers
• (1) Cubanelle Sweet Pepper
• (2) Zucchini
• (4) Blue Diamond Watermelons
• (6) Romaine Lettuce
• (6) Iceberg Lettuce
• (6) Buttercrunch Lettuce (which didn’t make it to the garden because I didn’t space things out properly)

This will be a butt-ton of produce if this works out.  We might have to build another bed next year or expand the existing bed if we get good results. 

The thunder is rolling and the rain is pounding down as I write this and I am wondering if our little garden will make it through this storm.  I really hope the morning sun does not reveal an empty 10’ X 12’ wooden box.  I am leaving it up to the gods of agriculture to ensure my garden doesn’t wash away. 

I figured the raised bed would keep the rabbits out until I had the defenses installed, but I didn’t plan on the Golden Retriever being a threat.  I was wrong.  He began eating the 12 cubic feet of garden soil (you know, that intoxicating mix of dirt, manure and compost) that we purchased as soon as started spreading it.  No wonder his breath smells like the ass of a dead skunk (we have some other very colorful descriptions for his breath, but I decided on the one least offensive).  I can’t wait to see what he does when something actually starts growing in it.

The boys and I spent a few hours planting everything and then rushed in to get showers.  I figure if each plant yields at least four vegetables or fruits we will have made our money back on the investment in the first year.

On Sunday, we installed the post caps to spruce up the garden a bit.  They are purely decorative and I think it makes it look less like a big wooden box.  We also added a few wooden signs to designate the different veggies planted in there.  I have one last addition before it is complete, but I didn’t get a chance to finish it.  More on that when it is done.

 

 

We also planted the replacements for the holly bushes that we dug out last weekend.  We got a small assortment of different shrubs from a local nursery and spent an hour after church planting them.  I don’t know how much longer the boys will be willing to help me out with all of the little projects that I have.  I hope it is not too soon, they are actually getting pretty good at it.  I might be able to rent them out and make a profit on it.

Right before dinner, we got to witness a great and scary thing, our 10 MO crawling for the first time.  Well, it wasn’t exactly crawling, but the ruling on the field was that she was on all fours and there was forward progress, enough to capture a toy a foot and half away.  It only happened once and by the time we were done clapping and coaxing her to do it again, it was time to eat.  By this time next week, I will have installed baby locks on all of the cabinets that don’t already have one and put up the baby gates on the stairs.  We had a great dinner tonight, Montreal Salsa Chicken on the grill.  I can’t remember where we got this recipe, but if anyone is interested in it, let me know and I will dig up a link.

That’s all for now, ass-breath the dog just made his way downstairs, opening the bedroom door and the basement door by himself.  He doesn’t like when it thunders, I don’t think he is scared, I think he just wants to make sure that I am alright.  I would be better if he chose to breathe in the other direction.

Christine?

My wife and I were talking about the current repairs needed to the truck and she mentioned that she thinks it might be trying to kill me.  The more I think about it, the more I believe it is true. 

To make this less confusing and to not infringe on Stephen King’s work, let’s call the truck Lucille.  “Anything so innocent and built like that just gotta be named Lucille.”

Lucille has on two separate occasions had a failure to major components while I was driving it.  The first incident happened in December.  I lost steering while on a busy highway coming home from a Christmas party.  I was driving alone, I had just dropped a friend off at his car.  I ended up driving about 10 miles with no power steering. 

The second incident was on Easter Sunday.  I explained that in a previous post.  According to the mechanic, the steel brake line leading to the left rear wheel burst and froze the brake cylinders in place, making it impossible for the brake to release.

I am not a conspiracy theorist, but I can recognize the facts when I see them and this situation seems to be filled with some eerie similarities.

Christine vs. Lucille:

• Christine was a Plymouth Fury, Lucille is a Dodge Dakota. Both Chrysler products.
• Christine was a 1958, Lucille is a 1998.
• Christine was red and white, Lucille is red and silver.
• Christine could have had 5.9L V8 (the model also available with a 5.2L and 5.7L), Lucille has a 5.9L V8.
• Christine’s story took place in Monroeville, PA (around Pittsburgh).  Lucille came from PA too (around Philadelphia).
• Both had crazy previous owners (just kidding, Bob, I don’t think you are crazy).
• Christine’s previous owner’s initials were R.D.L. (Roland D. LeBey), Lucille’s previous owner’s initials are R.D.L.
• Christine’s new owner was Arnie, Lucille’s new owner is Henry.
• Christine was purchased for $250, Lucille was free (tax, title, tags, inspection, steering repairs and brake repairs brings my total cost to roughly $2,500).
• Arnie’s girlfriend, Leigh, almost choked to death on a hamburger while sitting in Christine.  I burnt the roof of my mouth on a French fry while sitting in Lucille.
• Arnie hurt his back pushing Christine back to the garage for repairs.  My back is sore because I sit in front of a computer for 12+ hours a day.
• A month before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.  A month before Kennedy was shot, he was in Marilyn Monroe.

The above facts are all true, I swear I did not make any of it up.  Actually, I am not sure about the Kennedy/Lincoln thing.  I can’t confirm that Lincoln was ever in Monroe, Maryland.

The truck is home again from the mechanic, waiting patiently in the driveway.  The front grill glints like a menacing smile in the morning sun.  I have survived so far.  I can only imagine what Lucille has in store for me next.

18

On my way to robotics club, my iPod transitioned to Get Ready from (hed) p.e.  This needed to be loud.  I spun the volume dial until it reached 18.  Get ready, ready!  Woo!  My people get ready!  I glanced at the dial again, still 18.  It has to be 18.  When it's loud, it's 18.  Medium volume is 12.  When it needs to be low, the volume reads 6.  19 is bad, it can never be 19.  Odd numbers are always bad.  Except for 3 and 5.  3 is good because two 3s will get you 6 and that is good.  And four 3s will get you 12 and 12 is good.  5 and multiples of 5 are always good.  You get the picture.
What I am describing is my quest to use patterns and repetition to create order and well-being.  Some people can describe it as a mental disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce anxiety, by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing anxiety, or by combinations of such thoughts and behaviors.  I don’t believe I have hit bottom yet, but the behavior is definitely there.
There are certain things that have to be a certain way or I don’t feel comfortable.  I am sure we all have little quirks and efficiencies to make life easier.  Creating patterns to follow allow you to function without having to think about it.  Reducing everyday and repetitive tasks down to muscle memory and simple mnemonics make these tasks easy.  Don’t we all keep our cash in denomination order, largest to smallest from the outside in, and alphabetical order by serial number?  I don’t total up all of the bills to ensure they equal a good number, that would be silly.  (Hold please while I check…yup we’re still good.  Some times the little bastards get out of order in your pocket and you don’t realize it until you have to pay for something.)
I don’t know if I was always like this.  I know that my CD’s and DVD’s (cassette and VHS tapes in times long ago) have always been in alphabetical order, music by artist and release date, movies by title and sometimes when there are multiple versions (i.e. director’s cuts, digital enhancements, uncut, etc.) they go in release order.  Of course with kids, this makes it a little difficult.  They don’t understand order.  They just grab a movie and put it back on the shelf in random order, if they put it back at all.
These things aren’t compulsions or obsessions (yes, I have to keep reminding myself of this), they just make things easier.  If I want to watch the Blade Runner Final Director’s Cut, I know it is the third DVD in the Blade Runner section, which, of course, comes right after Black Hawk Down and right before Body Double.  It is extra special because two Ridley Scott movies happen to be right next to each other.
Isn’t it better to know that it takes 4 turns to completely close the cap on 16.9 oz. Coke bottle?  With those 4 turns you can be assured that your soda will not go flat.  You don’t have to count each time (but it helps), you just learn to do it that way.  You don’t have to unscrew the cap and do it again just to be sure it was 4 (but it helps).
And who doesn’t make sure that all of their t-shirts are right side out and folded so you can see the printing on the front?  Everyone keeps their white t-shirts separate from their colored t-shirts.  And their grungy work t-shirts separated from their everyday, ok-to-be-seen-out-in-public t-shirts.  Right?
Sometimes my little quirks efficiencies conflict with those around me.  Mostly it is my wife, who also has her own set of quirks. Right now I am concerned that my word count doesn’t exceed 648 (2*18*18).

Paranormal Activity

My wife and I found an hour and 30 minutes to spend alone together last night.  When the kids fell asleep, we snuck downstairs into the basement to be alone.  Not even the dog was allowed to follow.  This is a pretty rare event, no kids, no dog, my wife awake after 9 PM.  Why did all this happen?  The reason is Paranormal Activity came in the mail from Netflix for this weekend. 
My wife and I can rarely agree on a movie watch together.  She’s not into sci-fi or fantasy, I’m not into romantic dramas, she loved Titantic, I abhorred Titanic each of the 5 times I was forced to fracking see it in the theater.  But there is one genre that we always agree on, the dark, psychological thiller/horror flicks.  I already told you our first date was to see The Silence of the Lambs.  Some of our favorite movies are The Exorcist, The Shining, Se7en, and The Exorcism of Emily Rose.  So when Paranormal Activity made it to DVD, we knew there was a late night date night ahead. 
Neither of us were disappointed.  I heard all of the hype about the movie, I know it cost around $15,000 to make, but I really didn’t expect to be as amazed at how good the movie was.  If nothing else, this movie spurs your brain into motion.  It may not even be conscious thought, and I bet you some of those thoughts you don’t want to think of at all.  The wonder of this movie is that there are no special effects.  There is only one camera, one location, no more than 3 actors on screen at any time and I swear to you at times I didn’t know if what I was seeing and hearing was in the movie or if it was part of my imagination. 
The purpose of most movies is to “show” a story.  The huge Hollywood blockbusters of Michael Bay and the like, leave almost nothing at all to the imagination.  Everything is played out for you in mind-blowing special effects, in 3D.  The characters and narrators fill in for everything that you can’t “see.”  I am not complaining, but trying to show how wonderfully simple and amazingly complex Paranormal Activity is.  There are only a handful of visual and audio effects that you see and hear in the movie.  Your mind continuously supplies the myriad of other noises and shadows and bumps in the night.
My wife said the next morning that Paranormal Activity is the wrong movie to watch before you go to bed.  I completely disagree.  This is the type of movie you watch on a windy night around midnight in a large room with the lights out, so the edges of the room get lost in the shadows.  Oh yeah, watch it alone, with no one else in the house, or maybe you’re not alone, wait, what was that, was that from the TV, is that the wind? 
That’s the result of this movie, to make you question those noises in the middle of the night.  To make you doubt your senses and your memory.  To make you flip on every light on the way from the kitchen to the bedroom.  To deprive you of a little more sleep once you get there.
It worked. 

Does your child watch too much TV

I think one of mine does.  A few nights while we sat reading a new book (yes I know this seems weird in a post about my children watching too much TV), my 5 YO was struggling to read because he had a stuffed up nose.  After sniffling repeatedly, I asked if he thought a tissue might help out, and he said, “No I think I need some Nasal-next.”

“Don’t you mean Nasonex?”

“No, I think it is nasal-next.”

“Oh.”

This isn’t the first time he has quoted some commercial or infomercial.  On several occasions, I have been woken up (usually by my wife) to go downstairs at 2 or 3 in the morning, to tell him to turn off the TV and head back to bed.  At 5 YO, he doesn’t have a real good grasp on time, so I usually forgive these incidents.  The fun starts the next morning, when my wife and I get a very succinct recap of various products marketed at that hour of the night.  One particular morning we were informed that we must go out and purchase a “Big City Slider Station.”

“Um, ok, what the h-, um, what is that?”

“It’s a fast and easy way to make mini-burgers. Just scoop, press and cook. Mommy will love it.”

This had my interest.  Not because it involved food, but because I could recall having heard that exact same thing before.  I flipped on the TV in the kitchen, selected a channel that is usually laden with infomercials and “As seen on TV” products, and we ate our breakfast listening to the TV.  Within 15 minutes, we were lucky enough to hear Billy Mays (may he rest in peace) extol us on the virtues of the “Big City Slider Station.”  And yes, my son was able to repeat a majority of the commercial verbatim. 

Skip ahead a few days, I hear the familiar “Ahoy thar matey’s” of the Spongebob Squarepants’ theme song.  As soon as the song ended, I heard my 5 YO say “aww, this is one where Spongebob <interject some hilarious Spongebob event>”  Peaking around into the family room, I saw that the episode hadn’t even started yet.  Interested that I might have found yet another one of his TV eccentricities, I sat through the 12 minute episode with him.  This isn’t torture for me, I actually enjoy Spongebob.  My all-time favorite episode is Sailor Mouth.   At the start of the next half of the episode, a short title screen was shown and I asked my TV addicted son what this one was about.

“Umm, this is where Patrick <interject an equally hilarious Patrick event>”

I repeated the experiment over the next several days of Spongebob episodes.  Sometimes I asked if he could read the title page, no.  Sometimes I switched the channel right after the title screen and asked him for a more in-depth description of the show.  He was able to retell the entire storyline and describe much of the action that takes place.

I presented my wife with the results of the experiment, gave her a demonstration.  She was not impressed with either his uncanny ability or my painstaking research.

Over the past few years, we have been able to divert some of his couch-potatoness to things like Mythbusters, Time Warp and Discovery Kids.  This has not always proved beneficial, especially when he began quoting Discovery Health when my wife was pregnant with our 3rd child or when he describes things from Dr. G Medical Examiner at dinner. 

I can’t wait until the day he and I can sit and watch Dune with the volume off and not miss a line of dialog.  “The beginning is a very delicate time.  Know then that it is the year 10,191.  The Known Universe is ruled by the Padishah Emperor Shaddam IV, my father…”

Note: My children are very active, they do not watch TV all the time, do very well in school and they are actually avid readers as well.  But they do seem to have inherited the trait of turning on a TV set every time they enter a room whether they watch it or not.  I really don’t need a visit from CPS.  Thanks.

A Bad Start to Anyone’s Week

I have been a little lax in my updates lately.  I will try to get out at least a few posts per week.  Here is why I have been not posting. 

Last Saturday started as most, woke up, showered, helped get the kids (the boys, not the little girl, I don’t know Jack about dressing little girls), started the grocery list and then things went downhill quick.  My throat started to hurt, my head started to hurt, and I could feel my temperature rising.  It happens every year, unfortunately right around St. Valentine’s Day, I get sick, so sick that I am bed ridden for a few days.  I hate it.  My wife hates it.  I blame it on work this time.  I worked many, many hours the previous week and put my body in the type of condition ready for this.  But being sick in not what I want to talk about.

I want to talk about Netflix and what a wonderful service they provide.  Nothing beats having Netflix and being sick.  In various states of consciousness and delirium, I got to see several movies without ever having to leave the comfort of my sofa.

• The Royal Tenebaums
• Following
• Adventureland
• Year One
• The Taking of Pelham 123
• Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist
• Chocolate
• Law Abiding Citizen

If you like to watch movies and television, and don’t have Netflix, you need to get it.  If you have Netflix and don’t have a Netflix enabled device attached to your TV, you are missing out.  Netflix  has made a commitment to put more and more big titles available for instant viewing.  A recent deal with Warner Bros. will delay new releases of Warner Bros. titles, but make more of those titles available for streaming.

I have my Xbox 360 connected to my television in the basement and through it, I can stream Netflix.  But Xbox is not the only device that allows you to do this.  PS3, DVRs, BluRay players, and soon the Wii allow you to stream content directly to your television.

Movie Reviews

I am going to begin posting reviews of movies that I have recently seen.  I won't go back and review anything that I have seen in the past, that would take me several years to write.  We get about 2 movies a week from Netflix, usually one kids movie and one for me.  I will try to review both and also anything else that I may get a chance to watch.  All of the movie review related posts will be labeled with the Movie tag.  Most of the reviews will probably contain spoilers so don't come complaining to me if you read something you didn't want to.  Sometimes I will like a movie "just because", I am a fan not a critic, so bare with me.  The first one should be coming soon, we have 2 movies at home this weekend and we intend to see them both.

The review format will be something like this:

• Review Commentary
• Overall rating - I think I will use a 5 or 10 point scale (yes I like to be that specific)
• Would I buy this movie/Would I watch it again -  The options will be Never, Will Watch It Again, Will Buy It