Monday, June 7, 2010

The Tale of the Mind Weenie

I am all for potty jokes.  I will laugh when I hear words like “fart”, “poop”, “turd”, etc.  But even I have limitations.  Conversations in my household usually revolve around bodily functions, this is hard to avoid when you have two young boys around.  Every song, every name, every food gets converted into something that has a poop variation in it.

Me: “We’re having tortellini tonight.”

Random Child 1: “Turd-ellini, ha ha, turd-ellini”

Random Child 2: “turtle-weenie, I said turtle-weenie.  Dad, Daddy, did you hear me, I said turtle-weenie.”

Me: “Yes, I heard you, you can stop now.” (hee-hee, turtle-weenie, that’s not bad)

It’s not that they say it once, or even twice, but it is the constant repetition.  Eventually, every word is poop or pee and I just can’t take it anymore.  The shows they watch just make it worse.  There are a few episodes of Nick’s Fanboy and Chum Chum that have a character named Janitor Poopatine (get it? like Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars…).  I hear that name repeated hundreds of times every time one of those episodes airs.  Even Disney is getting into it, they have a show now called Kick Buttkowski.

Every now and then they do come up with something interesting that causes me to laugh out loud.  A few days ago, we all headed out to play on the swing set.  My 7 YO jumped on the regular swing (green arrow in the pic) and began laughing at my 6 YO.  “You have to ride the Mind Weenie.”

6 YO: “Aww, the Mind Weenie.”

Me: “What is the mind weenie?”

6 YO: “This swing.” (pointing to the one with the red arrow in the pic)

Me: “Why is it called the Mind Weenie?”

6 YO: “Because it has a mind of its own and it hurts your weenie.”

You can’t argue with sound logic.  Name accepted and approved, carry on.

Their brains don’t always reside in the toilet, and it is at these times that I am really impressed.  On Sunday we were relaxing a little after a long weekend of playing.  We were watching The Blind Side and my 6 YO asked me why the boy didn’t have any clothes or somewhere to live.  I explained that for this boy, he didn’t have a mommy or daddy that loved him, so he didn’t have anyone to take care of him until the other family took him in.

6 YO: “Mommies and daddies shouldn’t be allowed to make babies if they won’t love them.  It should be against the law.  You and Mommy love us and you wouldn’t let that happen to us.”

7 YO: “Yeah, you and Mommy will always take care of us.”

That movie was emotional enough, and with this on top of it, there was nothing else I could say.  I just nodded and hugged them both a little tighter.

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