Lazy Writing

I recently read an article on the Guardian.co.uk that asked a few authors for their personal dos and don’ts of writing.  All of the tips were great and hearing them from some of authors that I really respect made it home even more.  You have probably noticed that I am not a very good writer and any guidance, especially from the masters, is useful.

The one tip that struck me most was from Geoff Dyer.  He recommends, “If you use a computer, constantly refine and expand your autocorrect settings. The only reason I stay loyal to my piece-of-shit computer is that I have invested so much ingenuity into building one of the great auto­correct files in literary history. Perfectly formed and spelt words emerge from a few brief keystrokes: “Niet" becomes "Nietzsche", "phoy" becomes  ­"photography" and so on. ­Genius!”

Autocorrect is a wonderful feature.  Ever since it started showing up in office applications, I have loved it.  I left “office” in lower case because I am assuming that Microsoft Office isn’t the only software out there doing this.

I cannot count the number of times when autocorrect has stepped in and changed “teh” to “the” and “recieved” to “received”.  The main reason is because it is transparent and doesn’t require your input.  It does it automatically, hence the name “autocorrect.” 

It’s not that I do not know how to spell these words, it is that I am “teh suk” at typing.  My mind is usually not in-sync with my fingers, especially when the left hand has to type 2 or more characters in succession, followed by something from the right, or vice versa.  Like the word “spirit”, regardless of how many times I have to type this word and how much conscious thought I put behind typing it, it always comes out “sprit.”  My fingers have to go left, right, right, left, right, left, but what they really want to do it always go left, right, left… 

Knowing that I have this issue, I created an entry in the auto-correct dictionary to always change “sprit” to “spirit.”  I just have to bite the bullet anytime I really want to write the word “sprit.”  I don’t think I have ever intentionally need to write the word sprit before and when I do have to type it, it is part of bowsprit and exempt from the autocorrect.

It has not ever occurred to me to use autocorrect as a means to increase productivity.  I am all for increased productivity.  I have experimented with Quick Parts in Outlook, but they take some time to set up and I have found they are only really useful with large pieces of text, not individual words. 

Here are some useful autocorrect shortcuts and their translations:

• srvr – server
• srvc – service
• wbst – website
• eml – email
• appl – application
• proj – project
• mchn – machine
• db – database
• produ – production
• uat – the monkeys banging on the keyboard phase. As in “the project is in uat”
• pos – good application. As in “this is a pos.”
• stb – experience prolonged downtime. As in “the server stb”
• brb – Nap time! WOOT!
• lol – That’s a great idea, we will work on that
• wtf – Brilliant, I was just thinking the same thing
• omfg – I recommend that you be taken out back, blind-folded and then shot
• ass – user
• dh - customer

Let me know in the comments if you have any other suggestions.

I would really like to use the autocorrect feature to the fullest, but I am running into some issues.  Microsoft Word, Outlook and Excel have the autocorrect feature, but Microsoft Office Communicator doesn’t.  You know what I mean if you have ever been on the receiving end of one of IMs.  The cool thing about Word, Outlook and Excel is that they share the same dictionary.  Windows Live Writer (which I am using to write this post) doesn’t (which is instrumental in writing this post because of all of the intentional misspellings).  InfoPath doesn’t.  Gmail doesn’t.  I just have to be aware of where I am whenever I write something.  If you get an IM from me and it reads “no, the wbst did not stb.  it must be something the ass is doing wrong”, just remember that it really means “no the website is not experiencing prolonged downtime.  it must be something the user is doing wrong.”

Power Napping

I woke up Wednesday morning about 3 AM and started sneezing for about 2 hours straight.  My condition didn't improve throughout the day Wednesday and by midday, I developed a horrible headache.  The sneezing stopped on Thursday but the headache persisted.  The only thing that seemed to save me the past 2 days has been Power Naps.  I love 'em.  I can't get through most days without at least one.

It started when I was in high school.  I just stopped sleeping like normal people.  I would routinely get less than 3-4 hours a sleep a night.  In order to repay sleep debt, I started taking a nap at some point in the day.  At first, I tried napping for 1-2 hours and I typically woke up feeling more tired than when I fell asleep.  I really didn't think to research the topic because I didn't think that anyone else did it, plus there was no internets back then.  That is until I read a story about Thomas A. Edison.  The story mentioned that to increase productivity, he rarely slept, instead he took power naps.  He would sit in a chair in his lab and hold a spoon in hand.  He would dangle his arm, holding the spoon, over the arm of the chair over a metal plate.  When he would get into a deep sleep, he would involuntarily drop the spoon, which would hit the plate, making a loud enough noise to wake him up.  He would then resume working, feeling refreshed.

Many years later, I researched more on power naps and found that an effective nap should be no more than 30 minutes long.  Sleep longer than 30 minutes puts you into a deeper level of sleep, making it more difficult to wake up. 

Here are some of the things that I do to take effective power naps:

1. Prepare for the nap.  I know when I usually need a nap (mid-morning or mid-afternoon).  When I start feeling sleepy, I try to slow my pace down, nothing which would increase my heart rate, etc.  I like to take about 10 minutes of diminished activity before I am ready.
2. Set an alarm.  I use my cell phone which a great alarm clock built into it.  Set the alarm for 15-30 minutes from the time you are ready.
3. Find a nice spot.  I work from home so during the day, quiet, comfortable spots are bountiful.  I pick the big sofa next to my desk.  But if you can't do this, find someplace away from the hustle and noise. 
4. Cover your eyes.  I usually cover my eyes with the arm of sweatshirt or long sleeve shirt.  It serves three purposes, it covers my eyes providing near perfect darkness, it covers my ears blocking out some background noise, and it is also a pretty nice pillow.  You may look silly, but it is effective.
5. Clear your head and sleep.  Don't think about you are going to do when you wake up.  Don't think about the stuff you did before you laid down.  Think of something calming and sleep.
6. Wake up.  Don't hit the snooze button, don't lounge.  Jump up and get back to work.

Well, that's what I do. It may not work for everyone, but I firmly believe it helps me.